I was new at the gym. I was in decent shape. But in the first two weeks I was gaining ground fast. I felt stronger, leaner, and my wind was back. Today I was even starting an extra thrity minutes on the glide machine. A machine that supposedly emulates skiing. I started off slow adjusting to a machine I had never been on before. Slowly I increased my speed. I appreciated the new television sets the gym had placed on the walls behind the machines. I liked the setup there was a big aisle in the middle of the machines and the machines faced each other that way you did not have to look at the variety of butts on the machines in front of you. Here you could see the people across the aisle face to face a much more comfortable situation then watching someone’s butt.
I was fortunate my machine was diagonal from the redhead that I had noticed. She was in great shape and her hair was long and thick, she had a beautiful smile and eyes that twinkled. Ever since I had noticed her, I would spend my time trying not to ogle her. But often I would catch my gaze on her and have to refocus on something else. I did not want to make her feel uncomfortable I was not a creep after all. But today unfortunately my machine had the perfect vantage point to watch her. It was going to take all my effort not to stare.
I smiled at her as I got on my machine. I ducked my head because they had placed the televisions a little too close to the machines for my comfort. She smiled back at me. About five minutes into my workout in my efforts not to stare at her I noticed that she was watching me. I mentally checked to see if my fly was open. No, I thought, I was in gym shorts no fly to be had. I checked my face and teeth making sure no food was conspicuously displayed. After a close examination I found nothing awry with my appearance. She was giving me the eye. I went faster on the machine. She must be looking at me. My workouts must be doing wonders. I checked her pace on her machine. She was going faster than me. I quickly remedied that situation. I looked at her again I smiled and gave her a nod. She smiled big almost laughing with pleasure. I increased my workout. I knew now I had to stay on the machine as long as she did. I wanted her to know I was every bit as fit as her.
She was staring so much I was becoming a little self-conscious. I was also becoming a little tired ‘how long is her workout’, I grimaced to myself. But I was not going to give up before she quit. After another ten minutes I thought I always choose the fit ones. My legs were sore but I kept going. Her eyes hardly left me now. I thought this is aggressive behavior on her part. I was beginning to wonder if she was right for me. But one look at that face and I gave up that notion. I was sweating profusely. She had only begun to sweat. I was worried. I was doubting my ability to stay with her. I had been going fifty minutes twenty minutes longer than I had planned and I had been pushing myself extra hard to match her speed.
Finally, I gave up she had won. I could go no further. I stopped exhausted I looked at her and smiled. She shook her head with a smile at me. That smile let me know it was time I introduced myself. I walked toward her. As I walked her way she was still staring where I once was on the machine. So I turned to see what it was she was looking at. And then I saw it the television I had ducked under when I got on my machine. It was directly over my head. It was showing reruns of Seinfeld. And then it all became clear she was not smiling at me it was Jerry. You know Jerry Seinfeld. I was being beaten out for her love by an out of shape bucktooth mealy mouthed comedian. I did not introduce myself to her.
The next morning when I woke up my thighs were killing me. I could hardly climb out of bed. I smiled the redhead had worn me out. But at least I have, just like Charlie Brown, the story of the redhead who got away.