The Geese Apocalypse

I seem to be the only one aware of it. Other people are not like me and have not had the veil lifted from their eyes. They are paranoid of Putin, Trump, or apes. But the truth is it has always been geese who are our greatest threat.  Geese assume a timid pose to us humans but it is only a cover. A quick review of the Wikipedia entry for Canadian geese reveals the truth if you know how to read. Canadian is a misnomer to distract you from the fact that they have established themselves throughout the world. Europe, Siberia, New Zealand, Argentina, and other places. They strangely (not so strange if you know they are taking the world over) have established a permanent home in the Research Triangle and the Chesapeake Bay (that is right they have established permanent homes near our nation’s capital). These geese no longer migrate even though their propaganda would have us think otherwise. They also have permanent homes in China and Russia. No these geese fly missions, not migrate, over the whole world and have permanent homes in strategic areas. Geese have taken down our best fighter jets. Geese have poisoned our water through their manure.

Full grown geese have no natural predators. No they are the predator. Their children are indoctrinated into a military mindset at an early age. You have seen them goose stepping in straight lines behind their leaders. Cute and cuddly you may think but try to get next to one and face the fury of an adult goose. You will retreat fast. The geese population is increasing; in twenty years they have increased by over ten times. Which means in another twenty years they will number a sleek V-flying war machine of over 50 million geese.

But they are not merely preparing themselves for battle, they are passing laws. While they take down our jets, poison our waters, goosestep, fly freely throughout every nation’s airspace, they have lobbied governments so that we can only defend ourselves against them a few weeks a year. They have legally tied our hands while the NRA has crowed about a need for no gun control laws.
You may ask, how did I become so aware of the goose agenda? It was a beautiful sunny day at Cave Hill Cemetery in Louisville, Kentucky. I was with my family walking around the cemetery which used to be a park for humans but now geese proudly held forth tolerating the humans. Many humans were there, having to serve food to these geese to keep them appeased. It was their land now but I had not quite realized it. These thoughts are all made in hind sight before my eyes were wide open.

I was walking around the lake with my child’s hand in mine. We were bonding and enjoying the previously mentioned beautiful day. A goose approached us menacingly. I told my son not to worry, if we kept walking he would eventually leave us alone. The goose kept coming; it was now biting at my heels. My son was worried, but he had complete faith in me. I was his hero. We had gone on for fifteen yards and the goose had no let up with its hissing and nipping at my heels. I looked at my son and said all you have to do is turn around and stomp the ground at the geese and they will flee. ‘Watch,’ I said. I turned to stomp my feet. But as I turned the goose had had enough of me; he flew hissing with wings spread wide at my face. I was stunned and took a step back holding my son’s hand firmly. But when I stepped back my foot found air and then water. I was falling in the lake.

Into the water I went. I also because of my protective grip on my son’s hand took him with me. He went under. I stood up quickly the water only came up to my chest. I quickly lifted my son out of the water unto the ground. The geese had backed away and was still hissing and throwing its chest out. As if to say “Yea I took you down human and there is nothing you can do about it.”

I climbed out of the lake. I could tell by my son’s look I was no longer his hero. In fact he was not sure he could trust me anymore. I was drenched and humiliated. The geese owned the park I learned that day.

These years later I do my best to walk wide circles around the so-called Canadian geese. My son has inherited my fear of geese, which I am sure he will pass down to his son. My grandchild will more than likely live under the geese regime.

All of the information had been there but none of us believed it or had eyes to see it. But hopefully you now know; please do not tell anyone, especially near geese, where you heard this. I am going underground now. I will have weekly updates on Saturdays from now on.       
 
 

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