Political Learnings

This election has been very confusing to the political pundits because they say Trump has broken the mold of what a successful candidate can and cannot do. But after a study I think I have it figured out. The following is a few things I have learned.

Finger size determines the size of your penis.

Hillary is not qualified because she has been acquitted of wrongdoing in the Benghazi affair six times.

Obama is guilty of being a bad president for not stopping Captain Kahn’s death four years before he was elected.

Our country has been taken.

America has lost its mojo but if you buy a hat it will be great again.

Scott Baio is a serious actor and political player.

Obama only has five more months to take your guns away and to turn this country into a communist rat trap.

You can have unsecure twitters but not unsecure emails.

If Trump were gay his fanatical voters would finally find another candidate. Unless of course he agreed to conversion therapy then they would vote for him. After all the Republican platform says this.

If you have the political and financial support of the Russians on one hand and the Chinese on the other hand you are the most qualified candidate to be president.

TP is bad to some people.

Leftist Bernie delegates would not agree to elect Hilary by unanimous decree so that their vote against the first woman president could be preserved for posterity sake. Now that seems like the radical left I know.

Talk Radio has announced our country’s collapsed. But do not worry they love their listeners so much to prepare them for this they have gold, meals, safes, guns and other things you will need in the apocalypse to buy. And by the way just because they say our country sucks and is collapsing does not mean they are less patriotic than us. They really love capitalism.

Libertarian candidate for President Gary Johnson does not care if he helps elect a tyrant for president (his words not mine).

Donald Trump has no self-esteem issues or does the Donald protest too much.

Bill Clinton will be the First Man in the White House.

Both major parties elected the most hated candidates by the country to represent their party.

Both major parties elected candidates who have or may have lawsuits against them.

Jill Stein, Green Party candidate for president, thinks she has a realistic chance to be president.

​Michael Freeman will vote for the least controversial candidate.
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